The Born Wanderer

On the third day of Vipassana , sitting inside the 6 * 3 feet Shoonya kaksh , trying hard to meditate, to move into the state of physical and mental noble silence , the inner dialogues were only getting more and more louder. Noble silence was perfect physically, but the mental side declined to accept that state and seemed to be much agitated, unlike the last time when I attended Vipassana back in Dec – 2012. Some excerpts from that conversation as much as could be recollected. m is the meditator , and everyone knows the other one, or you’ll know. I : Wish I could get that one person to whom I can give all my love, pour all of it into. m : You had someone earlier, isn't it? In fact you had a few more to love as can be recollected? I : Yes, and no probably, but none worked. m : why ? I : Because I felt they didn't appreciate my love. Some just couldn't understand why I was in love with them and thought that I had selfish interests while others took me for ...

This post was triggered by an amazing poster that I recently saw on the internet with the following lines.... " If you grew up around toxic people, you might have a higher tolerance for toxic behaviour. You might not even notice signs of emotional abuse when they happen. But just because you're "trained" to be around toxic behaviour, does not mean you should put up with it. Get lear on your boundaries and commit to stopping the pattern . " by Karen Salmansohn, NotSalmon.com Those words triggered a thought process that went down my memory lane. Realised that some of those old experiences might be ingrained in our memory for such a long time that one might even not realise that one's current behaviour is the result of what they experienced during their childhood/teens or early days. People tend to not knowing their value, and thereby lose their standards during their existence at any point of time in their life. There's nothing like being a f...

Like it or not, you'll mostly pickup vibrations from people with whom you are/were connected with, even for a brief time. These vibrations are basically emotions, triggered by the thoughts in the minds of the other person. It's interesting to realise that you'll get happy when the other person is happy and get disturbed when the other person is disturbed or thinking bad about you. That's because of energy connection, sometimes weak and sometimes strong. When I say thinking bad, I mean thoughts and emotions triggered by ego, insecurity, jealousy, envy or anger. Sometimes the vibrations are so high that you'll feel extremely disturbed and start getting frustrated for no reason. Most of the people who receive such vibrations are not aware of the reason. On the other hand, when someone has pure love for you, and you are in their thoughts with beautiful memories, you'll definitely feel those wonderful sweet beautiful vibes. Your day will naturally...

The thoughts those are being expressed on this page lingered on in my mind for a very very long time. But those were in bits and pieces. I always wanted to express them, but couldn’t get the flow right all the while. But then there are triggers that connects the pieces and the whole idea starts taking shape, a shape that can be understood by the conditioned mind. That’s what exactly happened recently. The trigger to the thought was the following article - The Danger in Fake Positivity and Spiritual Bypassing . This prompted me to read the contents of the page further. That took me to the part where the Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön was quoted as “Feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear… are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They’re like messengers that tell us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. ” Very interesting. And that’s exactly what I also though...

Something happened a couple of days ago. Something that had not happened for a very very long time in my life, inside me. Since the time of certain realisations, I've been very careful about my words, actions, and reactions, which mostly happened because of my acquired awareness. But the realisations didn't lead to permanent awareness, though it did expose me to the power of awareness. More than situations in life it were the people who helped me in those realisations which in turn led me to awareness. Though this stage of existence was interesting, with an additional sense of power over the self, there were moments when I slipped. But those slips were not with strangers, but mostly with people I knew very very well or with whom the comfort level was so high that my awareness guard went down. But had no regrets with that. Now comes the transformation phase in the  ego's playfield - the mind. The slow realisation started getting into my head and that became one of the pa...

We didn't realise we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun.   - Unknown The following texts are a combination of part reality, part fiction and mostly pure imagination - the Mungeri lal ke haseen sapne types. Readers' discretion recommended. November - 22 2016 I was watching this video - a tutorial to play Ludovico Einaudi's famous I giorni on my mobile device's youtube app, immersed in peace when suddenly at around 9:45PM, Whatsapp notification pops up mentioning that " SPG " had messaged me or something. " SPG " had not pinged me lately or rather quite sometime and we had lost contact with each other since almost 3 years. I opened the application and I see that I've been added to a group "KV Sulur Buddies" in Whataspp. And suddenly I see some familiar names whom I hadn't been in touch with for almost a decade or more. The group members' list was interesting. The messages were being posted by " ...